Can t stop writing

I wish I could just correct some things easily. I wish i could take all these things-problems-people to a room full of red balloons and dance together. I wish I wouldnt think of my ex best friend as about miserable bitch, and what s worse- to think about these years full of eyes-hands-smiles and love(at least mine) as about such a cheap easy breaking by blow thing. I wish I wouldnt realise cheap friendship.

I understand nothing what s going on. It s already months left and I still feel that deep pain inside. I can t even cry, cuz I feel like on that NY night I cried for many years up front.

i m very happy-ironic-cynic and wise about all this shit, but in reality I just don t understand.

How the hell can such things be possible.