recollecting

I was sitting on the floor by the wall and he came up. I was saying smth, he was asking a lot. face to face, so close unfamiliar face. I felt confidence, confidence to start crying in front. More and more. Then he took my hand and lead to his room. I didn t have any another variant place to sleep that "beautifull" night.
There was no understanding of situation and whole world around. I was broken invisiable pieces inside. absent, indifferent and bare. he just undressed me and took of his clothes. Fast.
That wasn t about having sex, but about fucking. I was silent for some time, scratching his back. before my mind recollected every word again. And I started crying out again. In the middle of the "act" , right to his satisfied blessed face. It was so loud infinite that I was waiting strong cruching explosion out of me, but I couldn t stop. It lasted several hours and then I became disconnected till woke up. next days i was silent, too deep in my mind to talk.

"In the end ur New Year was marvellous and his -didn t", -she wrote, feeling relief.